3:12 in the capital on Sunday. My eighth marathon and my eighth result within the window 2hr58 – 3hr13. How’s that for consistency?!
In many respects my race was spookily similar to Montpellier. I blew up spectacularly at the same place – not long after 25km, which is embarrassingly early for someone who has supposedly trained specifically for the marathon distance. Again, I suffered terribly just to finish, getting slower and slower until it felt like I was hardly moving. I gritted my teeth and made it, but it wasn’t pretty. I was also horribly cold at the end, shivering uncontrollably. Plus, of course, I finished with a virtually identical time!
But there the similarities end. In Paris, the weather conditions, although cold, were otherwise very favourable for runners: beautiful blue skies and sunshine. I chose to run with a long-sleeved thermal base layer under my club vest and my gloves, which was a good call as I wasn’t too cold waiting for the gun and didn’t overheat in the later stages either.
The atmosphere in Paris was also second-to-none. I went, in large part, to visit this famous city, the capital of the country I’ve called home for over ten years and yet never got to know, and Paris did not disappoint. It was truly incredible to admire all the major sites, cruising down the middle of the road, with nothing to worry about and doing the thing I love most. Passing the Eiffel Tower at 30km, even though I was very much riding the struggle bus by that point, was a definite highlight.
The music and cheering and crowd support all along the course were also amazing. For the first couple of hours I was running at the back of a big group following the three hour pacemaker, but even after I fell off the pace there were lots of runners around me all the way home. Paris is a huge race – there were around 36,000 finishers – so this is to be expected to some extent, but the contrast with Montpellier (damp, lonely, bleak) was marked!
Overall, I had a very enjoyable weekend in the capital (despite suffering from a nasty little cough that I still haven’t shaken off). The journey up there was not without stress, as epic delays on the main train line meant that we were not going to arrive in time to collect our race numbers before the expo closed at 6pm on the Saturday evening. I was very grateful to be travelling with a friend from the running club and even more grateful that we had other team-mates already in Paris who collected our bibs and saved our bacon! Even though I was staying alone in a hotel and travelled home alone on the Sunday, it was definitely a shared experience and one to remember.
So, what’s next? In this post-marathon period I’m definitely feeling a bit ambivalent. On the one hand, running two marathons in two weeks is an achievement in itself (though my coach would beg to differ) and my times were really not too bad in the grand scheme of things. But on the other hand I still feel like I’ve failed in my spring marathon quest. Sub-3 (and a PB) are definitely in me, so why can’t I perform on race day? Do I lack endurance, or is it poor race execution that is my downfall? Was I just unlucky in Montpellier and unrested in Paris? Or am I lacking strength for the marathon in a more significant sense?
I’m definitely feeling a bit low today and questioning my ability as a runner. I’ve started to feel like a bit of a fraud, having talked myself up with big ambitions and then failed badly, twice.
But “the only way is up” I suppose! I have a lot to learn from these two marathon experiences: I certainly haven’t perfected my nutrition and hydration strategy. I can improve on controlling my start and running at target pace. I know I need more endurance in my legs. I must get tougher mentally and stop giving up so soon.
All I can do is learn these lessons and keep trying.
